


letters to a lover, to a soulmate

by snakebait



Category: VIXX
Genre: M/M, hyuken is mentioned, i did a warning for violence but it's not rly anywhere?, mention of bullets just fyi but there's nothing more than that, this is completely written in letters, this is set in wartime so thats why the warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 22:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18583798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakebait/pseuds/snakebait
Summary: From your one and only lovesick idiot,Cha Hakyeon.





	letters to a lover, to a soulmate

_Dear Jung Taekwoon,_

 

_The training is brutal but I strangely love it. It’s something to do before we go out and though it leaves me exhausted, it’s pleasing. It feels like I’m doing something- Well, it simply feels like I’m working, just like back home._

 

_I know it’s not home because you are not here with me and I selfishly hope to never see you here with me. I don't think I’d bare it. I hope that you are not too angry with me, my love. I wish I could have evaded the conscription like you did._

 

_I should hope things are well back home. Is your nephew healthy? And your sisters? It’s up to you to take care of them but I think we both know they run circles around you more than anything._

 

 _I miss you desperately and it’s only been a few weeks._ ~~_Would it be inappropriate_~~ _You will hate the thought but I want to ask you something while I can. When I come home, will you marry me? It won't be a big thing, since the world isn't ready for us but it’s what all the boys do when they leave their loves behind._

 

_Will you marry me, Jung Taekwoon? I love you terribly._

 

_Your one and only,_

 

_Cha Hakyeon._

 

_***_

  


_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

_You drive me mad, you know that? Asking me to marry you through a damn letter? You’ve lost your mind but I know you already knew I’d say yes, you lovesick idiot._

 

_Of course I’ll marry you, you fool. I miss you, horribly. Some nights I wake up and think you're still next to me. Keep writing to me or I’ll go crazy if I don't know you're okay._

 

_My sisters are well and my nephew is healthy, too. Thank you for asking, my love. I should hope you are well too? My money better be feeding you well. Eat as much as you possibly can when you can. Don't you dare come back to me thin like a twig._

 

_I’m still upset that you left but it’s pitiful. Selfish anger, you might say. I want you to myself and you were taken from me. But I'll wait for you, like I always have._

 

_Come back to me soon, my love._

 

_I love you dearly._

 

_Your love, your only,_

 

_Jung Taekwoon_

  
  


_***_

  


_Dear Jung Taekwoon,_

 

_You had me in pieces from your writing. I’ll come home as soon as I can, I promise you that._

 

_I knew you’d say yes, you were correct. How could you not? I’ve loved you since we were thirteen, chased after you even when your mother told me to leave you alone. But she loves me now too. Does she miss me too?_

 

_I’m eating well, my love, don't fret. I'll not take a cent for granted. And yes, I’ll keep writing to you until I simply can't and then I’ll get someone to do it for me. But maybe not the naughty bits, haha._

 

_Joking aside, don't cry over me. I wake up in fits thinking of you and I wouldn't wish it on you even in the worst of it all. I’m always thinking of you, of seeing you happy so only think of the good times with me._

 

_Wait for me, my love. I’ll be home before you know it, okay?_

 

_I love you, forever._

 

_Your husband,_

 

_Cha Hakyeon_

  


_***_

 

_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

_You cheeky fool. ‘Your husband’? You're lucky I love you so much._

 

_Have you grown close with anyone? I want to know more. I want to pretend it’s just like normal, like you're just far away on a trip. Treat me like normal, tell me what you’ve been doing, even if it’s awful sounding. Tell me you love me and I’ll tell you the same._

 

_My mother misses you. She misses your cooking, actually. I don't see why, since you're hardly as good as I or my family (Joking, my love). But I think we all miss it because we miss you. We want you back. I’ll send a picture of my nephew and I in the next letter so you can keep. Give me your pictures too._

 

_I want you back._

 

_The naughty bits? You’re sick. You don't even write me the bits now whilst you can. But that’s not an invitation to do so!_

 

_But I’ll do what you said. I’ll think of the good times only, the ones that make me smile when it rains. Do you remember when you kissed me for the first time in the freezing cold? I thought I was a hopeless romantic but you caught me then and there._

 

_Maybe we should get married in the rain. Spend our honeymoon sick together, it would really test our love. That’d be hilarious of us._

 

_I’m only kidding. You will be home before I know it. I keep telling myself that, because it’s what you would say to me if you could. Every night is a night closer to when you return to me._

 

_Tell me everything. I want to know so I can support you and cheer you on. I don't want to be blind to your struggles. I love you too much to not worry over you._

 

_Your husband, your everything_

 

_Jung Taekwoon_

  


_***_

  


_Dear Jung Taekwoon,_

 

_I am lucky you love me so much. I know it to be true every time you look at me. I’m too selfish to let you go._

 

_There are a few I’ve grown close to. Lee Jaehwan, is one. And Han Sanghyuk. It breaks my heart, though, to see him in here alongside me. He lied on his papers about his birth year, saying he was eighteen when he joined. He’s only just nineteen now but he’s still so young, I want to send him home. If I could, I’d send him to you. I think you’d like him, actually._

 

_Jaehwan is a smart fellow. He's been serving longer than I have, even though he's a year younger than us. I think he and Sanghyuk fancy each other. They're like us, I think, in the beginning. When you would ignore me and flush like a pretty school girl while I doted on you and riled you up. It’s sweet, really, but it makes me miss you even more._

 

_Send me the pictures and tell your mother I miss her too. I miss you all, actually. Even your damn cat. I'll send you my pictures and I’ll take one with Jaehwan and Sanghyuk, so you can meet them too._

 

_I think you can guess what I would say if were in person. I doubt anyone would write the parts for me since I’m hardly a poet but I do miss everything about you. Your eyes, your hands, the way you laugh when I kiss your neck. But on another note (and more innocent), I do remember our first kiss. And marrying in the rain is a stupid idea but if it rains, it doesn't mean I won't still kiss you senseless at the ceremony._

 

_I will be home before you know it. And for the struggles, I don't have any at the moment… Just training, really. It’s exhausting and I’m afraid I might hurt myself but so far, I’m okay. Don't panic for me, alright? I’ll be fine._

 

_I’m always thinking of you. You're the first thing I think of when I wake up and when I go to bed. You're what I dream of when I close my eyes, just like always._

 

_I love you, my angel._

 

_Yours forever, my love,_

 

_Cha Hakyeon_

  


_***_

  


_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

_A picture of me for you. My mother insisted I send one of myself, not of the family. She said she hopes you hang it by your bunk but you don't have to if your bunkmates might see it._

 

_Take care of yourself, please. And I’d like a photo of you, Jaehwan and Sanghyuk. I hope they treat you well. I hope they take care of you._

 

_It somehow makes me happy to know what you miss about me. I miss your kisses in the morning and how you hold my hand underneath the table top. I miss you kissing my neck to wake me up and I miss your hands on my skin. I just miss you, Hakyeon. It’s as simple as that._

 

_Be diligent as you always are. Work hard for yourself, no one else. You’re strong, my love, I know you are. I’ve seen it many times. You’re my one and only. I know you can do it. Tell me when it gets difficult, even if the letter isn’t wrong and I’ll write to you immediately. I’ll send you my love in any way I can._

 

_I can’t help but panic for you. If I cannot see you, I worry myself sick. But don’t lie to me, please? When it’s hard, tell me. I’d rather know than know nothing at all. I won’t live a fantasy without you._

 

_You are stronger than you know. I’ll see you soon, my star._

 

_Yours, now and forever,_

 

_Jung Taekwoon_

  


_***_

  


_Dear Jung Taekwoon,_

 

_You’re perfect. I really hit the jackpot with you, didn’t I? You got me through the past few weeks, just from your words alone._

 

_I won’t say it’s easy. It gets harder every day. When I get shipped to a new post, I can’t help but freak out. I’m with Jaehwan, though, but I don’t know where Sanghyuk is. He’s alone and I worry a lot for him. If you’ve noticed my address changing, that’s the reason. They move me around to fight._

 

_It’s okay for now. I hate the sound of bullets but it deafens after a while. The training doesn’t compare to what I’ve been doing recently so I’m sorry for the break in the letters. I couldn’t get time to send one and it’s only in a few days that a messenger will take our letters and send them in bulk. Jaehwan is writing to Sanghyuk, hoping that one of the sergeants will find him._

 

_I’ll tell you when I find Sanghyuk. I hope you’re well and I pray you won’t worry too much of me. As I reread my words, you’ll probably fret like a weeping mother over me but trust me, my love. I’m okay. You’re getting me through._

 

_My letters may come in waves. I don’t know how often I’ll send and receive your own. Know that I’m reading them whenever they are delivered, even if I don’t reply immediately._

 

_I love you more than anything, Jung Taekwoon. Don’t forget it._

 

_Sincerely yours, my everything_

 

_Cha Hakyeon_

  


_***_

 

_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

_You were right. I worry even more for you but I trust you. God knows I trust you more than anything on this earth. Come home to me safely. That’s all I care about._

 

_I don’t care if the letters are far apart, so long as I never get one that states the worst that I fear. Come back to me whole and I’ll continue to give you my forever._

 

_Sanghyuk will be okay. You said he was smart, same with Jaehwan. Protect each other. Sanghyuk will be okay. You all will be okay. I love you more than anything. Remember what you’re fighting for and we’ll get through this together._

 

_I won’t pretend to understand what you’re going through but I’ll do everything I can to prevent it. If simply writing to me, even if it takes time to get to me, helps you then do it. I’d rather receive eight letters at once than none at all._

 

_Cha Hakyeon, you are my stars, my moon, my sun. I miss you terribly, so much it hurts but I know you will come back to me. I know you will. You’ve never broken a promise to me._

 

_Do you promise me?_

 

_Signed,_

 

_Your love, your heart,_

 

_Jung Taekwoon_

  


_***_

  


_Dear Jung Taekwoon,_

 

_I promise you. If it’s the one thing I can give you now, it’s that. I promise you._

 

_I haven’t heard from Sanghyuk but there’s been no report of him missing in action or if he’s been killed. I’m worrying a lot. Jaehwan doesn’t sleep anymore. I know I’m a month late in replying to you, but it’s been crazy out here._

 

_But I’m okay. I’m safe, I’m okay. Trust me. I’m doing everything I can to get back to you, in your letters and in real life._

 

_From your one and only lovesick idiot,_

 

_Cha Hakyeon._

  


_***_

  


_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

_I know it has been a while but I’ll keep sending my letters, even if yours only come once a month if I’m lucky (That makes you sound guilty - I promise you, it’s not)._

 

_I’ve yet to receive any news from your commanding officer. Should I be pleased even if it’s selfish? It’s frustrating… I want to know if you’re okay, not whether you’re dead. It sounds awful to even say, to even think it is worse. I pray every day for your return but I can’t help the thoughts that plague my mind._

 

_I hate to be pessimistic. I shouldn’t be but I shan’t kid myself when thinking the worst. I know it’s horrible, I know you’d scold me but I’d rather you scold me than nothing at all. I want to hear your voice again. It’s selfish of me but the letters aren’t enough. I want you here with me, to say you love me in person. I’m so horribly greedy and it’s eating away at me. Please don’t upset with me._

 

_Write to me soon. I’m doing well, despite it all. My family is healthy, as is yours. Your sister will send you a few photos along with this letter, of her new baby girl. You have a niece, my love and she’s as beautiful as you are._

 

_I miss you so much I can’t sleep sometimes but I’m waiting for you as always._

 

_I love you so fucking much. My heart belongs to you and only you._

 

_Sincerely yours and yours only,_

 

_Jung Taekwoon_

  


_***_

 

_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

_I wrote to you last week so I’ll send these together._

 

_My mother gave me her engagement ring. She wished to sell it for some extra money but I thought it’d be nice to give to you. When you come back, I’ll propose to you properly and not over a damn letter, you fool._

 

_It’s strange but I know you’re okay, in some way. I feel in deep in my soul. Or maybe it’s just my way of coping. Whatever it is, I cherish it. Call me stupid but I want it to be true so desperately. I want you to be okay. It’s all I want, all I’ve ever wanted._

 

_You are out there somewhere and it’s taking all my self control to not come and find you my damn self. I have to be patient. You would tell me to be patient._

 

_I just have to be patient._

 

_I love you still. I will always love you._

 

_Signed,_

 

_Your Taekwoon_

  


_***_

  


_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

 _ ~~I shouldn’t send anymore~~   _ _No, I’ll not give up. I can’t. It’s been months since I’ve heard from you, eight-four days, to be exact. I won’t tell you I haven’t been counting. You always know when I’m lying._

 

_If you’re injured, scared, hurt, whenever you are, I don’t care. Just come back to me, please. It’s all I ask. Tell me something, anything. I don’t care what it is, just don’t send me back unless you’re alive. I need you here, don’t send me a letter if you’re not alive._

 

_If anyone is reading this who isn’t not CHA HAKYEON, aged twenty-four/born the thirteenth of June, serving since twenty-two years of age, don’t send me a letter. Don’t send me anything, nothing at all. I don’t want it. I’m too selfish to read it, too stupid. I’ll live in vain until I see his body. And even then, I’ll never accept it._

 

_I’ll trick myself forever._

 

_Cha Hakyeon, I love now and forever until the day that I die. I’ll see you again, I know I will. I’ll see you soon._

 

_Yours faithfully,_

 

_Jung Taekwoon,_

_the man who loves you more than anything in the universe._

  


_***_

  


_To the family of CHA HAKYEON,_

 

_This is to certify that CHA HAKYEON: XXXXXXX, Cadet, 98th infantry, is hereby honourably discharged from the military service of XXXXXXXX._

 

_We are reporting from NURSE STATION NUMBER FOUR ZERO EIGHT. Cadet Cha was injured on the XX of the XX, XXXX and has been recovering since then. Cadet LEE JAE HWAN reported his injury._

 

_Sustained: bullet to the left lung. Right rib fractures (4). Broken left wrist (recovered)._

 

_Surgery was performed to correct his wrist with the consent of him but without the consent of his guardian(s)._

 

_It is with pride that we dismiss CADET CHA HAKYEON._

 

_Date: XX OF XX, XXXX._

 

_Signed,_

 

_Commanding officer,_

 

_XXXXXXXX_

  


_***_

 

_Dear Jung Taekwoon,_

 

_You are my one and only._

 

_I’m coming home. I’m sorry I took so long. I leave here in a month and I’ll tell you everything I’ve been thinking, everything that happened. I’ll tell you in person and you can fret over me then, okay?_

 

_I’m so sorry I couldn’t write to you. I had to recover from it all. I’m okay, I think. Well, at least I think I’m okay. I hope that I am._

 

_Sanghyuk came back, too. A broken nose and few broken fingers. He was shot in the shoulder but he’s recovered very quickly. He was in the worst squad, the one in the trenches with all the infections. He’s damn lucky he got out in time. He’ll visit me after he sees his family._

 

_I’ll see you soon. I hate to ask but can you wait a little longer, my love? I’ll come home to you safe, like I always said I would. It’s all okay. I’ll see you soon and you can put that ring on my finger. I’ll hold you to it._

 

_I never stopped loving you. I never stopped thinking about you. I kept your photo in the breast pocket of my uniform. It’s ruined now but I always kept you close to me, like always. I can’t wait to see you again, my love._

 

_I love you endlessly._

 

_Signed,_

 

_Cha Hakyeon, your one and only love_

  


_***_

 

_Dear Cha Hakyeon,_

 

_If you’re not home in a month, I’ll lose my mind._

 

_I love you endlessly. I love you more than anything. Fuck the ring, fuck everything. Just come back to me. Come back to me now or so help me God, I’ll go crazy. I’m crying as I write this- can you tell from the stains on the page? Haha._

 

_I’ll wait for you at the army base with your family._

 

_Your husband, truly yours forever,_

 

_Jung Taekwoon._

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry if this format is just. shit lmao but since it's letters i wanted to keep it like a back and forth thing but its only 3k so its not that BAD 
> 
> hey! this is my first fic under 9k so that's a plus lmao i finally wrote a oneshot
> 
> also that medical discharge is slightly accurate don't hold me to it


End file.
